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04 June 2012 @ 04:32 pm

Dear whoever reads this,

I kinda sorta really flipped out today on twitter. I was at work and while I was peeing (this is where I do my best thinking), I realized what my problem is. I'm gonna try to explain myself as best as possible without sounding too whiney and pathetic, etc.

Basically it started with me being angry at the amount of Jonas I see on my timeline. It seems like an easy solution just to unfollow everyone who talks about them, but honestly, I care about every single one of you, way beyond the Jonas's. I mean, yes, they've been the majority of our conversations, but think of the amazing times we've had together, whether it be on twitter, in person, on LJ...whatever. I think all that good that we all have had definitely out weighs the bad. I think it's hard for me because the Jonas boys are ALL over the place. It seems like it's hard to keep track of them, and I think I resent ppl who CAN keep track of them and get excited over every little appearance they make, lol. I think that's because I noticed as I was getting into more fandoms, I lost touch with the jonai's everyday lives and everyone talks about these things and half the time I have no idea wtf ppl are talking about, and the fact that y'all bond over it still makes me legit jealous because I used to do that too. It's no ones fault, imo. It was bound to happen bc the jonai are kinda on a hiatus so they're doing random things here and there, so I needed something to occupy my interests~. I love those boys more than anyone should. It's an unhealthy dependent kind of love that I wouldn't trade for the world. I met some of the greatest, outgoing, fun ppl I've ever met bc of them and I've had literally the best days of my life and best memories because of them. I miss all of that, and I think my way of handling it is getting angry. I miss the relationship I used to have with ppl on twitter. I want whoever is reading this to know that you've changed my life for the better, and I miss all of the fun times we used to have. I'm sorry for the rude shit I've said in the past, tbh, I don't mean any of it, and I say it to be spiteful. That's how I deal with things, and I'm manning up and admitting it and that it's wrong. Idk, I'm just sorry. I dont want any problems with anyone, I don't want ppl ~unfollowing me or whatever. I'm gonna work on this, it's something I KNOW I'll overcome. So yeah, I'm sorry, and I hope none of you have any hard feelings. If you do, I guess I understand.

- Me

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.